::Fairy On The Moon::

Suddenly feeling this sense of Melancholy.. :(

Went Canoeing on Saturday. It was very "shiok". We went out onto the open sea. The feeling of the waves crashing incessantly against the side of my canoe was very good. The pounding rhythm of the waves, bobbing the canoe up and down, the whistling of the wind against my ears, the caress of sun against my cheeks, and waves seeping into the canoe and lapping my feet gently..was quite a wonderful experience. Pushing hard against the forced against the forces of nature, and watching the canoe cut swiftly through the open sea..much like a bird in flight made me feel somewhat liberated. Knowing that an element of danger and uncertainty lurked stealithly in the corners, made it all the more thrilling. At sea, i could be free from all burdens, and earthly clauses i had been chained to. i love being out in the open...i wish i could sail away forever into the cerulean blue horizon. But what with these idealistic notions of fancy? If i could escape for one afternoon, out at sea i still would not be able to escape forever. But i love the feeling of canoeing...sailing breezily through the waves..the rocky boat..when the waves throw me up and down..it's fun..fun..so fun, like a thrill ride.

Watched the Aviator with Mark. Frankly, it's really bad SH*T, and i didn't help that the theatre was AS COLD as the artic ocean. Titanic this was not, and Leonardo de farto, was , erm, ok, is way beyond his prime. Anyone still living in the days of "Romeo and Juliet" should have a rude shock when they see this. Haha. So i was freezing cold, and almost falling alseep...throughout this snore of a movie. If "Lost in translation" was sheer torture, then well, i dunno, this must be cocentration camp x 1000. Right. I exaggerate again.

Sometimes i feel very much like a spare tire. Ok, i know i've gone through this like the umpteenth time, but it's really eating at me, and it's disturbing me. Sometimes it's as though some pple use me when they feel like, when they need company, or when they need favour, but just cast me aside after i have served my purpose. I no longer have autonomy over such matters. And it makes me all the more sadder, because some of these pple, may have been pple i CARED for and TRUSTED. And thats not the worse. Knowing im treated like trash..like a spare, i still can't help caring for the pple who don't deserve it. I still can't stop myself from being used this way. This feeling of inadequacy is dragging me down in mud. you know, and i hate it, just hate it when pple treat me this way. Like dirt. Like im only good for a while, and when u don't need me, and i don't fit ur fancy, u jus chuck me aside, like a worthless toy. And it sucks cozsometimes u really go GENUINELY care for these pple. Isn't everyone looking for something real and sincere all the time?
unforunately, i can honestly say, the number of real and sincere things left...are sadly outnumbered by the number of insincere, untrue and worthless things arnd. What is real and sincere anyway? What it real? When can u find it? It really hurts knowing u can count the number of things that are real in ur life with just ond hand. ..

dawn fairy on the moon at 1/25/2005

Thursday, January 20, 2005

jus had a rag bbq..now im so stuffed full of food...getting fatter and fatter by the day. After reading what i wrote yesterday, i realised that im quite sacarstic..but really, sometimes u need to rant and rave to stay a little psychologically sound and sane.

The whole world has gone to club again. Its beginning to become a every-wednesday go club religiously kinda thing. Hahah. but i guess after a while the crowds really get to you. But there is something oh so therapeutic abt dancing like mad..without a care in the world..and just for one short moment in ur life..releasing all ur worries, and not thinking abt anything else but the pulse..the rhythmn, and the music racing throught your heart. ..

These days i find that im becoming simply less generous with notes. Like todae me and Rou-mei went to photocopy notes, but after slogging our asses off trying to search for a whole thick piles of notes...for hours, i decided that i wasn't gonna lend the pile to anyone. It's no longer a i lend u my notes kinda thing, but more like a lets exchange kind of thing. Therefore, i have decided not to be cheated anymore like in the past..and NOT to lend my notes to anyone without getting some marginal benefits in return. Truly, i don't believe in working my Butt off, and letting another person profit from it, but jus taking my notes, and not lifting more then 5 fingers to help. Nope. I refused to be made use of anymore. SO from now on, anyone who wants my notes, will exchange it for theirs. :)
haha..how practical. i will make a very good business woman one day. Mercenary. :P

dawn fairy on the moon at 1/20/2005

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

===^ The list of People in ur Life u don't need+++=^ ( maybe fictional, den again, maybe not)

1) The irritating pple, who only flood ur hp inbox and msn, with msges, in times of crisis, when they need favours, when no one else wants to hear them bitch, or when they r too free. Where are these buggers, when they strike lottery, when they r having fun, or when they have better things to do?

2) The annoying pestilience of a character whom constantly hangs onto u like a MAGNET, Only when he or she need to devluge her personal problems, or sob stories on to u. Hello. Get Professional help. NUH anyone?

3) People who NEVER ever listen to reason and explanation. They may not be far off from fax machines.

4) People who ONLY Msg u or use u, as last minute alternatives, and use u as back-up plans..when they're other plans have failed, or when they can't get anyone else. Hello..im not singtel, i don't offer back-up plans. Sorry. Wrong service.

5) Guys who completely insist on being arrogant fools, whom are so blinded by the love of their own image, they don't even start to realise that the mirrors before them have already cracked. Their egos are so huge, it's amazing, they can even squeeze into a room.

6) Guys who insist in SMSing u sweet nothings, like "I miss you"..or "did u miss me"..or "wish we were together" again after the relationship ended aons ago. Hello?? This is not an audition for scripts, for Channel 8 lor.

7) Guys who whine, and moan and groan abt their "bleeding hearts", and how tragic their love lifes are, or how their entire romance is a failed melo-drama, lian-shan-bo and zhu-ying-tai kinda tragedy. EH romeo, save that for your literature or drama class la.

8) Peopl who talk big..alot of talk, but no do. Even a balloon has more substance. woops. I meant a vacuum.

dawn fairy on the moon at 1/19/2005

Ok. First just a word of warning. I wanna whine. I wanna groan. I wanna moan. And i wanna bitch. So this isn't gonna be a very pleasant blog at all. In case you were expecting something along the lines of "happily ever after" or pleasantville, wrong call. Turn back, and proceed no further. Coz im cranky. Im upset. And im jus plain, incoherent. Soon.

I loathe being misunderstood. It's not something one can help, but all the same, it's an unpleasant affair indeed. And i am not irresponsible. I may not be the very responsible type..never was, possibly never will be. But i don't leave my stuff and expect pple to clean up after me. I don't leave me things undone half way hoping someone will do it for me. These days i have been crammed full with commitments, and hall stuff it seems almost impossible to juggle. I am choking, and dying, and making the whole world pissed, and i can't even control it. I have like 3 commitee meetings jammed in one nite. 3 different commitees expect me to be in the same place at the same time, and i just don't see how in can, unless i split myself up into threes, or if there wld be three Dawn Wongs, but there never will. And i have to compromise, meaning i'll have to skip on, or leave earlier for one, to go on to the other. So i will be skipping from one commitment to another non-stop, because thats the only closest way i can be a three places at one go. And it's wearing me out. Its wearing me thin, because pple think im slacking out early or leaving irresponsibly halfway, becoz i jus suddenlt felt like it, or coz i simply wanted to muck out and have fun, but that is so totally not true. It's jus that, no one can let me leave, and EVERYONE NEEDS me to be there, so the only way i can do, is by lesaving early, so i can spend abit of time at BOTH places. And people don't understand. They think im doing this coz im irresponsible. But im not , coz i reallly have no choice, if the pple, won't let me go, and insist i be there. I have no choice. I am stressed, pressured, and completely going nuts, coz no one seems to understand this fact. No one. Nada. None.

RITE. Since im in this cranky-bitchy-semiwhiny mode now, i shall jus continue. HAha. I know. I always swore that i wld never wanna become the "whiny type" but sometimes it just feels so good, jus to complain, whine and release u noe..just to ..let go. And im tired of pretending i have it all in control, or simply pretending to be ignorant, and pretending not to care, as if things don't bother me, coz in reality, they do. They bother me badly. So badly.

Rite..apart from stress levels towering to dangerous levels, recently, due to short tolerance, and highly increase irritability, i have realised that my patients for certain pple have been wearing thin. i don't know how much longer i can tolerate these kinds of pple. I hate it when, these so called friends, or pple i know, or wad ever the heck they are, only turn to me when they

1) Want a favour
2) Want to bitch, whine, moan , or groan to u (ONLY)..hello..den why do u need a blog for!?!?!
3) Or jus need u to be there, when they r sad, or they r depressed, or at their very pits and need u to pull them out.

These character types, never bother to find u when they

1) Strike lottery
2) Win 4d ( same thing)
3) are enjoying themselves
4) Have "fun" and"better" company

These fair-weathered creatures only seek ur company when they r TOOOOO bored. And when they have no frends. Or when they noe their other "FUN" pals won't stick up for them, and when they noe ur the only one with the patience to hear them bitch, whine, or ure guillible fool. whom wld lend them a shoulder to cry on. And its annoying to the maximum. I thought i wld be able to ignore all these, but since im in a crap mood, im suffering from verbal diarrhoea, and this is all coming out. I wince and roll my eyes at the random SMSES, and msn msges, with these pathetic pleas for help. Get a life. I'm not aunt agony. Neither am i 1900-tinklefriend, or neither am the hotline for the samaritans of singapore. I am just a normal human, who wants to be treated in the least bit decently, and not to be taken for use, nor should u abuse my friendship. It's utterly Annoying to see repeats of this nature, and to these pple, i can only say one thing U keep using all ur frends, and soon, u will see none left. Im not like punching bag, or scratching post ( kindly get urself one from the pet shop) so, if u please.

U noe its like some pple, when the msn u or SMS u, u can never expect anything good from them They either come with bad news, or come begging u for favours, or start droning on abt how horrid their lives have been. HellO?? where have u been three-quarters of the time. Where were u whe i needed u? If u need someone to hear abt ur life stories, pls for God's sake, get some money, and find a decent psychiatrist. Okok..i noe im sounding mean, and cranky and HORRID, but since this is MY BLOG, and i warned u i was in an offensive mood..so i will jolly well, fix my own rules and write my own things.

RIght. i tink i've enough for one night.
That felt good.
Out.

dawn fairy on the moon at 1/19/2005

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Testing..testing..

dawn fairy on the moon at 1/13/2005

Saturday, January 08, 2005

Just came back from Isaac's twenty-first birthday! A happy occasion, but also a very sad reminder that it's gona be my turn soon enough! Argh! old old! Old! Old! i wanna turn back the hands of time!
His party got me wondering, how i wld actually wanna spend or celebrate this "important" occasion. hmmm..Its quite scary knowing how i have lived for more then two decades..but what have i accomplished???? im not even sure..

Had quite abit of Baileys at the party! hhmmm..now having abit of a headache. His chocolate cake was from Lanas. That Lanas chocolate cake thing is famous i tell u...My mum keeps going on abt how wonderful it is. ( and indeed it is!) Haha..ok i know thats not the point, but every good birthday party must have a nice birthday cake right? ( i want an NYDC cake for my birthday..ahah)

haha..it just occured to me how different Isaac is now. My, My, i think NS has done him a whole lotta good. Haha..alot Leaner, fitter, and Tanner looking..hahaha..Mature? hmm..i dunno abt that..haha. Well, ok..anywae im not like romantically interested in him, even tho always kena suan by Mark and Andrew ( I dunno why lor..i mean ..pls lor...me and Isaac, arent even like very civil towards each other..alwaes suan-ing me) Anywaes, i think Isaac's church frends r really sweet. They gave him this very nice Christian poster thingy for his birthday. Very very personal , and very very nice. Can see that they are a bunch of supportive people. Haha..

Haha..it's quite amazing to see how time really flies. How i knew these people when they were these young pimply secondary sch kiddos, and now they've really grown into "young adults"! its jus so weird! haha..

And today, we came to a conclusion tt singapore was really a small world after all. When i was in the lift, going back to the party, i exited at the wrong floor, and came to this bbq. And this guy was standing outside the lift. Then i was like "ehh?? why like tt one.." den the stranger was like " Eh..this is the bbq..u r in the correct place!"

me: " huh?? but i was at my fren's party den it was an air-con room ma..how come now like tt?"
Guy: " this Is the correct place la. The bbq lor..COme come!" (grabs my hand)
Me: ( blur and stunned)" huh?? but i dun remember me being in a bbq.."

Which then i realised my mistake, and went down the the second floor. I told the rest abt the bbq just upstairs, and soon they decided to crash. So we just sauntered boldly into the bbq area, and all the pple started staring at us. And lo, and behold, by some strange turn of events, Gabe recognised one of the guys! This guy called Samuel, who was from Acs with him. And it turned out it was his party, and it turned out that i knew Sam too, by some kinda strange circumstance.Soon, all the guys from Isaac's party, trooped upstairs, to talk to Samuel, coz it turned out they all knew him from secondary school! So weird!!!! These guys..its amazing how they can bond man. Just throw a bunch of guys together, and once they start talking abt NS, Soccer, and secondary sch teachers.. they just naturally bond, and talk as if they were best frends! Haha..so it turns out isaac, finds a new neighbour, and all of us realise how much in common we have..This island is so, so , so small...

dawn fairy on the moon at 1/08/2005

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Went out with Gladz today , to Junction8. Watched Kunfu Hustle. It is absolutely funny. but in a retarded way. But that's completely fine by my standards. I Like retarded fun. I laughed until i almost fell off the seats. In the typical Stephen chow-ian fashion..there was physical comedy aplenty, cheap thrills, even lamer jokes, and very dumb action sequences. But the movie had the entire cinema splitting their sides with laughter. ...

Was wondering why i saw so many Rjc pple at junction 8. Then i suddenly remembered. Rjc has moved from Ghim Moh Rd, to Bishan, right next to RI, where it can now conglomerate in one location, to continue to be a breeding ground for generations of snobs, elitists,and pretentious punks. Don't get me wrong. I have absolutely nothing against the general population of Rj, nor would i begin to generalise the people, nor am i trying to place stereotypes. Well anyway, the kids seem to look younger and younger these days. Or maybe, jus maybe, im starting to look and feel older. Argh. It's terrible..Im no longer a teen. But just looking at these young, eager and fresh faces brought back many memories to me. Bittersweet memories, Longing, reminiscence, and just a lingering sense of loss..and of time slipping thru my fingers like grains of sands. Ah...the elusiveness of youth and time..forever lost to me.

It's been like almost 3 years since i left Jc, and techincally i am an adult now.. but something inside me always longs to turn back time. The endless number of "What Ifs", and the yearning, and desire to go back and change the past. What if i did something differently...would that matter to me now? Would that make me a different person? Would it change my life now, or the way i am now? But answers to these questions, i will never know. Obscure, Mysterious..and Evasive. But why do i still regret? why do i still long so much for the past? Why do i feel so sad, just so sad, when i see all these young, eager faces. What have i lost? Or what could i have changed? It almost seems like yesterday, when i was in that uniform, running down the corridors, getting caught for being late everyday, climbing out of the school gates, ponning every class i could, getting thrown into the principal's office, doing mad, crazy stuff, and basically just trying to find out who i was. But now, 3 years later, have i learnt anything? Did it make a difference? Do i really know who i am now, what i want? I am not sure..

Just got off the Phone with Geri...long Phone call..brought back more memories of Jc. She was just telling me abt how rotten her trip to bangkok and Chiang Mai had been. It was a trekking trip for crying out loud? Hello..self explanatory..hahaa..i told her i "die-Die" also will never go for a trekking trip, and she agreed. It's just ludicrous, to pay good money just to live in pallid conditions, and suffer at the hands of nature. Now don't get me wrong. I am not one of the "ooOOOO...i tink i chipped a nail" Sorta gal, but i choose leisure and comforts as priorities during my Hols.. Anyway, i guess she had a pretty good experience. It was pretty good just talking to her..catching up on gossips, both of us being horridly cynical as usual, and laughing at people stupid. :P. But she's been always such a good fren since Jc, such a wonderful source of support and comfort, and i'll always be grateful, for finding someone so sincere. We were just gossiping about how much everyone has changed since JC, and its true...everyone looks so different, talks different, everyone has become so happening and hip..hahaha. I wonder if i have really changed that much too..

J is now ego-tripping to me like AGAIN, about how he has been head hunted by all the halls, and like every Hall in Nus wants him in. Haiz. Sometimes that guy just AMAZES me..i wonder how he and his ego, can fit into one single room. And i wonder why he never gives his Ego and day-off, even though we enjoy a five-day working week now. In short, his EGO jus aint never gona stop. SIGHZ. And he keeps talking abt clubbing like its the Bible, and like it's the only thing in life, and that's jus plain meaningless. It's not as if Life is all abt clubbing. I remember when i was 16 i used to think that clubbing was like the coolest thing ever, coz back then, we were underaged and it was illegal for us. But now, things change, and Hello, we are already like 21, so get over it man. And i jus cannot stand it when people keep telling me how often they go clubbing like its a damnn big achivement like winning the nobel peace prize!Clubbing is Fun, and i won't deny it's really a nice activity sometimes, but it's not the only thing in life, and it certainly dosent up your hip quotient, does it?

dawn fairy on the moon at 1/04/2005

Saturday, January 01, 2005

Ok..anyway...since it's a NEW year, i might as well Blog more..since i prob won't be bloggin much for the rest of the year.
Its been abt 3 years since this Blog started, and after re-reading all my stupid NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS, i have decided that this year, i will make a new resolution. That is, I will make NO MORE new year resolutions ever again. Because they won't work, and i never stick to them..so why bother? Every year i resolve to be more gentle, more feminine, and less chor-lor, and more lady-like, but i jus get worse every year. I simply have no idea why. I always dream about becoming one of those dainty, little girls, so gentle, so well-mannered..so Girlish, and feminine..haiz..and..NO, NO, NO..i jus get louder, and crazier each passing year. So thats jus it. I've plain had it with New year resolutions.

Anywae..As a tribute to the year 2004, lets all take a look at the WORST FASHION MISTAKES of 2004...( in random order)

*Any resemblance to people dead or alive is ENTIRELY coincidental, but of course :)

1) Tight white pants, with bright red sports shoes. It's okay if u r Kate Moss, Gisele, Tyra Banks, or a giraffe. We forgive you. Anyone else should just shoot themselves

2) Pencil Skirts. Unless you have really SLIM, PENCIL-thin ( staedler mars lumograph, 2b) thighs. Why do you think they are called pencil skirts anyway?

3) BUM skimming, thigh squeezing..tight, tights. You might as well take some paint and paint over your thighs. It's cheaper. Why don't you?

4) Zebra Prints. We think them cute on Zebras. We think them NOT on humans. Why anyone would want to dress, and look like a zebra though they were born humans, remains one of the greatest mysteries of the 21st century.

5) Peroxide, over-bleached blonde hair. The only reason why Barbie ever gets away with it is because.. well, uh..she's Barbie.

6) Flashing your bright coloured thong. Well, yeah, its fashionable, if ure a stripper i guess.

7) (for guys) The straight Rebonded hair look. Yes, Vaness's ( from f4) hair was flatter then his voice ( if that's possible). That may explain why his career fizzled out faster then a Julia Roberts relationship.

8) Wearing your underwear, as Outer-wear. We understand why Superman has the licence to do it. When the baddies become paralysed with laughter, then he can trash em'. Anyone else has no excuse.

9) Wearing 'Prata' ( fake Prada ) Goods. Eating Prata at Jln Kayu may be considered fashionable ( to some). Wearing your food however, ( unless you are a three year old child) is not fashionable.

10) Wearing branded shirts, with the brands splashed ostentaciously all over the shirts ( as if we couldn't see). Unless you enjoy looking like a walking Advertisment or signboard.

11) Platform shoes, a la Baby spice. How can you call those things shoes? They are positively lethal anti-mugger weapons. Don't believe me? just take one and fling...

Ahh..dosent this just bring back fantastic memories..haha..so Goodbye 2004, and hello 2005...

dawn fairy on the moon at 1/01/2005

Jus came back from Faith's bbq. Shocking revelation to start the NEw year 2005. KENNY SHANE can COOK! OMG!
OMG!

His brownies were...WOW..quite yummy i must say...ahaha ( i hope he never reads this coz his ego will like..u noe..)
I'm convinced he will be a perfect house husband...

SHOCKING revelation number 2. Kenny can act like a bimbo. Haha..as in his "act cute" poses are actually quite Good. OMG. HE's confirm metrosexual lor. Hahhaa.

Spent the New year playing Mahjong in Daph's house. At the stroke of Midnight, i was not partying at some wild club no where..nor was i having fun with some Tall, dark and Handsome hunk( DAMN MY FRIGGIN LUCK) ..but i was slacking in a super ugly tee-shirt and shorts combi..with a tissue paper stuck in my nose ( Flu)..in Daph's house. The most unglam way to start the new year ever. Most unhappening indeed. Haha. By 4a.m..i had already K.Oed and was fast asleep in the couch while the other "hiongers" where chiong-ing at mahjong all the way. I am very impressed. Daph has all the makings of the perfect future mahjong taitai.. her stamina is like power. By 7a.m..they were all still up..and going. I better start training up my stamina if i expect to reach Mahjong tai-tai status somewhere in the near future. And start watching more channel55, and start brushing up on my cantonese Big time.

I Love playstation! and i love streetfighter! now i know why all those rotten little sec sch boys fail all their exams when they have a play station in their house..hahaha..

dawn fairy on the moon at 1/01/2005